Showing posts with label group accountability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label group accountability. Show all posts

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Yes, Pornography IS an Addiction!! Random Resource ThuRsday

Yes, Pornography IS an Addiction!!


Do I have your attention now?  I mean it's easier to see something visually right like the picture above?

Yes, viewing pornography is an addiction.  And in this country (and around the world even) many don't view it as an addiction.  It's not harming anyone right?  So it can't be bad like drugs or alcohol, right?

Oh so very wrong.  Those who view porn do it to get the same release that say a cocaine user or alcohol user does.  Look at the picture above.  See how the brain responds with the dopamine in almost identical ways?  Look again!  Viewing porn actually releases more dopamine than some other addictions like cocaine, food, morphine.

And the thing is, our minds are wired to store visuals. So, unlike these other addictions which require an item to be inhaled, ingested, drunk, etc in order to product that high - a person addicted to porn can do it without needing an item.  Once a visual is stored in memory, one can retrieve it.  And with the visual is also stored what happened when the visual was first viewed.  And voila. How the cycle continues.

Pornography addictions is so vastly growing.  With the internet, we can pipe these images right onto our computers or ipads, or phones with only a small search.  It's so accessible and can be done right in the privacy of your own home.

But beware, like with other addictions, your need to have that high will increase. And often the urge to view porn and masturbate will come more often esp with triggers and users will often risk more to get that high.  Many a people have LOST THEIR JOBS from viewing porn at work.  Many a marriages have been destroyed because a man would rather masturbate than make love to his wife.

The human being was created to crave intimacy.  When those needs are not met, many turn to pornography.


We thrive on intimate interactions and relationships with others. When our need for intimacy is neglected, our lives seem unpredictable, hostile, and stressful. The desire to escape or take flight from this stress can be overwhelming. When these conditions are present, we’re more likely to seek sources of release through addictive, and often, abusive behaviors. Unfortunately, when the “vacation” from the stressful environment is over, we return to the same, if not worsened, conditions–the negative emotional environment in which we repeat our cycles of addiction.
“With sexual addiction, instant sexual gratification becomes the addict’s most important, all-consuming pursuit. Part of the elevated mood generated by the activity may involve risk. Special routines and patterns may be followed that increase excitement, usually concluding in a sexual event…over which the addict feels absolutely no control.” (P. 295 Darryl S. S. Inaba, Michael E. Holstein, William E. Cohen, Uppers, Downers, All Arounders, CNS Publications, Inc., July 2000, Edition Number: 4.)
Pornography is an illusionary solution to meet the intimate needs of any participant. It shortcuts the natural process of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually close to another. The sensations are superficial. The bitter irony is that pornography and the use of the Internet for sexual expression actually increases the likelihood of separation from others: the exact opposite of intimacy.




I think this visual is very telling.  Look at the search engine request figure.  Look at the misconceptions...it's OK because I'm over the age of 18 and it's not illegal right? I could actually give you lots more figures but I think you get the picture.  I got the visuals from http://pornographyaddiction.com.  It's loaded with information so please check it out and become educated.

Treatment for pornography addictions can be a tricky one.  But with attention growing about this, centers are really starting to take a much more aggressive approach with pornography addictions.  Just as a side note, recoveryBox was first created for pornography addictions and was later expanded to incorporate lots of other addictions.  In some areas, porn treatment centers are co-mingled with places where sex offenders are required to undergo treatment.  Be careful of where you select treatment. As with all programs, if it's not a good fit for you then find somewhere else.  But seek help!

And now I bring this full circle.  Why was this the Random Resource ThuRsday?  Because even possessing an item in the house can lead to a relapse and it's so easy.  So go clean out the attic!  The closet!  Wherever you have it stashed.  If you are not at the stage where you can clean it out because you feel too tempted then ask someone you trust to do it for you.

Check out next week's Random Resource ThuRsday where I offer ideas and resources to protect your eyes, hearts, self, family and children from pornography.

Want recoveryBox, the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery.  There are multiple sex addictions to select from.  See which one meets your needs and download it now.  Be accountable to someone!

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Becoming Accountable with a Sponsor/Accountability Partner using recoveryBox

How To Video Series for recoveryBox iOS App for Addiction Recovery

Below you will find our How To Videos for recoveryBox -becoming accountable. When we want to change a bad habit/addiction often the best thing (and often hardest) is allow ourselves to accountable to another person - most often a mentor or counselor or someone who has been through a similar journey. While choosing that person is difficult, you will know you have chosen well if they make you feel a bit uncomfortable with your negative habits while praising you when you choose well.  By uncomfortable we mean they are holding you accountable by wanting to perhaps talk through what happened or bring to light something that might be holding you back.  

Being accountable with recoveryBox is very easy as not only does the app have all your data that is easily aggregated into a simple email or text, the app allows you to customize how much or little data is being sent based on how you and your accountability partner work together.  recoveryBox even allows you to set up alarms to remind you to send that communication.

You might ask if that app can send the accountability piece automatically to your sponsor or counselor?  The answer is NO!  We believe that you must OWN your recovery and therefore while we have all the tools at your fingertips, you must be the one to make the decision to be accountable to someone else.

Becoming Accountable









Friday, March 17, 2017

Using recoveryBox for Addiction Treatment Goals

How To Video Series for recoveryBox iOS App for Addiction Recovery

Below you will find our How To Videos for recoveryBox - Goals for treatment for an addiction can come from a variety of places. Create goals with a counselor, perhaps you have person goals, create some with an accountability partner/sponsor. no matter where they originate from, track them all on one place in recoveryBox. Attach a 12 step to a treatment goal.

Treatment Goals Using recoveryBox








Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Random Resource ThuRsday - So I shouldn't Go "There". Now What?

This week I wrote about how just being at a location is dangerous to the undoing of our sobriety. I found a wonderful resource that talks about this and a lot more.  In this document are tons on strategies to fight the addiction.  Take a look.

For more from this recovery website, visit http://www.markhoustonrecovery.com.

Below is the section from the resource that deals with Being at the Place (the Y2) and strategies.
I am glad the author put this trigger at the top of the list.  It's why I have the Person of Risk as the Y1 and the Place as the Y2 Yellow Lights.  Warning!!  Warning!!  Use Caution here!

Relapse Trigger #1: Putting Yourself In Difficult Situations Like Visiting Your Favorite Bar Or Hanging Out With Friends Who Are Still Using


Perhaps the most difficult part of recovery is leaving behind old friends or old habits that got us into trouble in the first place. Even if we are committed to staying away from your previous group of friends or hangouts, if we don’t change our habits and interests, we can quickly find yourself with a new group of friends or hangout spots that are just as damaging to our recovery process.
Relapse Prevention Action Plan:
  • Find alternative places to hang out like a local bookstore or coffee shop.
  • Choose companions who seek a healthy lifestyle.
  • Go to a recovery based meeting. 
I really do encourage you to read the rest of the pdf file.  It is loaded with strategies to help in your addiction recovery.

To download recoveryBox,visit the Apple App Store.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Group Accountability ~ Crucial to Addiction Recovery and Why It's a Green Light

Group Accountability is crucial to addiction recovery. Many posts on this blog have been about one-to-one accountability, but (and I know this is hard) it's so important to attend some sort of Group Accountability meeting.

It can be a traditional 12 Step Meeting, it can be a group therapy session, or a Celebrate Recovery meeting.  Whatever that looks like for you...but it's so important.  

It counts as a G2 - Group Accountability Light.

I mentioned that it's important to find a group that deals with similar addictions.  I will say personally I would not relate to someone who had a drug addiction while I was dealing with CoDependency.  I know from experience that Celebrate Recovery starts with everyone combined to have a worship time and then breaks apart into separate groups and most often by gender.  Others like AA meetings combine everyone together men and women. You are the only one who can decide what feels right but there IS a group that can help you out.

At most meetings you don't have to say a single word until you are ready. But as the time goes along, the reason you attend is to be able to open up, have others understand your experiences, and offer support. Not all meetings are alike - don't give up finding the right one!

Your support system ought to include others who have walked the path that you are going through.



Use recoveryBox with your group to share how your life is turning around and the Green Lights are improving (showing growth in healthy areas).  Share your yellow or red lights when ready.  There is no need to have to rethink everything since you already recorded it. Use that to reflect back at a later date and learn from those mistakes.  Then move on!


Click here to download recoveryBox from the iPhone store.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I Just Can't Remember..HELP ME!

With all the crazy things we have going on in our lives, taking the time to enter our "Lights" (i.e., our daily activities) or remembering to text our accountability partner our numbers can sometimes fall to the back burner.

However, just like those who are training for a race and keep track of data, or wanting to lose weight and watch their calories, those in recovery for an addiction must keep track of what they are doing.  The idea is to replace bad habits with good ones.  If you don't keep track of anything, how will you know you are making progress?  How will you be able to talk with your sponsor about what "really" went on during the week?

I TOTALLY get how it's just not easy to remember.  So, recoveryBox does come with some reminders that you can set up to help take the pressure off a little.   Our solution..we call them Motivators.

To find them, More Tools -> Settings -> Motivators  so easy to find and set up.

You can have daily or weekly reminders.  You decide the time. You decide the day!

recoveryBox will not automatically send your numbers to your sponsor...and that is by design!!  You must take ownership of your recovery. We just try and give you some tools.

To find out ore about recoveryBox, visit our website and download it today!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Y3 Yellow Light :: Intentionally Possess Object of Risk

Having an object that is contrary to staying sober seems to be an obvious yellow.  Some would argue a Red Light, But I say it's just  a Yellow.

Just because you possess the item doesn't mean that you are going to use the item! It's a choice! And because it's a choice, it's why I have it as a Yellow Light!!

Y3 : Intentionally Possess and Item of Risk.

But let's be clear here.  It's a recipe for disaster.  I mean why do you even have it?  You know that by using the item or looking at it then you will be having to start your sobriety from square one, feel ashamed besides other emotions and all that goes along with using again.

So, it's a no brainer.  Get rid of it!

  • Get rid of the alcohol in your house!
  • Get rid of that pornographic video in the attic!
  • Drugs lingering around the house? Trash them now!

Clean out!

And yes we live in a fallen world and there are temptations everywhere, but (and I feel like a cliche when I write this), but Just Say No!

Don't make it possible so that when the urge is there and you need that rush to easily grab that magazine or drink and fulfill that need.  Fill that need with something else - go for a walk. For visit a friend. Do something other than grab that item.

Yes, I understand that "things" don't do bad things.  It's when people use those things.  But why have the temptation? Why allow a trigger cause you to run to the very vice you are trying to cut off.

I really don't have much to say on this topic except GET RID OF IT ALL!

I completely understand that this doesn't apply to all addictions.  I mean you can't get rid of food.  But you can get rid of junk food. And you can't get of the internet (OK I couldn't) but you can use something like opendns.com or Covenant Eyes.  There are always things you can do to help yourself.  It's about making a choice.

Have a great day!  Now go clean out!


PS. If you need help cleaning out but just can't seem to get started - perhaps it's time to talk with your counselor or accountability partner on what is making it so hard to let go.


Wanting to download recoveryBox and see how it can help you?  Visit the Apple App store.