Yes, Pornography IS an Addiction!! Random Resource ThuRsday

Yes, Pornography IS an Addiction!!

Do I have your attention now?  I mean it's easier to see something visually right like the picture above?

Yes, viewing pornography is an addiction.  And in this country (and around the world even) many don't view it as an addiction.  It's not harming anyone right?  So it can't be bad like drugs or alcohol, right?

Oh so very wrong.  Those who view porn do it to get the same release that say a cocaine user or alcohol user does.  Look at the picture above.  See how the brain responds with the dopamine in almost identical ways?  Look again!  Viewing porn actually releases more dopamine than some other addictions like cocaine, food, morphine.

And the thing is, our minds are wired to store visuals. So, unlike these other addictions which require an item to be inhaled, ingested, drunk, etc in order to product that high - a person addicted to porn can do it without needing an item.  Once a visual is stored in memory, one can retrieve it.  And with the visual is also stored what happened when the visual was first viewed.  And voila. How the cycle continues.

Pornography addictions is so vastly growing.  With the internet, we can pipe these images right onto our computers or ipads, or phones with only a small search.  It's so accessible and can be done right in the privacy of your own home.

But beware, like with other addictions, your need to have that high will increase. And often the urge to view porn and masturbate will come more often esp with triggers and users will often risk more to get that high.  Many a people have LOST THEIR JOBS from viewing porn at work.  Many a marriages have been destroyed because a man would rather masturbate than make love to his wife.

The human being was created to crave intimacy.  When those needs are not met, many turn to pornography.

We thrive on intimate interactions and relationships with others. When our need for intimacy is neglected, our lives seem unpredictable, hostile, and stressful. The desire to escape or take flight from this stress can be overwhelming. When these conditions are present, we’re more likely to seek sources of release through addictive, and often, abusive behaviors. Unfortunately, when the “vacation” from the stressful environment is over, we return to the same, if not worsened, conditions–the negative emotional environment in which we repeat our cycles of addiction.

“With sexual addiction, instant sexual gratification becomes the addict’s most important, all-consuming pursuit. Part of the elevated mood generated by the activity may involve risk. Special routines and patterns may be followed that increase excitement, usually concluding in a sexual event…over which the addict feels absolutely no control.” (P. 295 Darryl S. S. Inaba, Michael E. Holstein, William E. Cohen, Uppers, Downers, All Arounders, CNS Publications, Inc., July 2000, Edition Number: 4.)

Pornography is an illusionary solution to meet the intimate needs of any participant. It shortcuts the natural process of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually close to another. The sensations are superficial. The bitter irony is that pornography and the use of the Internet for sexual expression actually increases the likelihood of separation from others: the exact opposite of intimacy.

I think this visual is very telling.  Look at the search engine request figure.  Look at the misconceptions...it's OK because I'm over the age of 18 and it's not illegal right? I could actually give you lots more figures but I think you get the picture.  I got the visuals from http://pornographyaddiction.com.  It's loaded with information so please check it out and become educated.

Treatment for pornography addictions can be a tricky one.  But with attention growing about this, centers are really starting to take a much more aggressive approach with pornography addictions.  Just as a side note, recoveryBox was first created for pornography addictions and was later expanded to incorporate lots of other addictions.  In some areas, porn treatment centers are co-mingled with places where sex offenders are required to undergo treatment.  Be careful of where you select treatment. As with all programs, if it's not a good fit for you then find somewhere else.  But seek help!

And now I bring this full circle.  Why was this the Random Resource ThuRsday?  Because even possessing an item in the house can lead to a relapse and it's so easy.  So go clean out the attic!  The closet!  Wherever you have it stashed.  If you are not at the stage where you can clean it out because you feel too tempted then ask someone you trust to do it for you.

Check out next week's Random Resource ThuRsday where I offer ideas and resources to protect your eyes, hearts, self, family and children from pornography.

Want recoveryBox, the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery.  There are multiple sex addictions to select from.  See which one meets your needs and download it now.  Be accountable to someone!

How to Tell Someone You Have an Addiction - Random Resource ThuRsday

It's Random Resource ThuRsday and I thought I'd answer a question someone sent me recently.

They asked "How do I tell my mother that I am an alcoholic?"

What a great question and I'm NO expert here so I started doing some research on this myself and thought I would pass along a resource I thought that was quick to read, easy to understand and that get's right to the point.

This is from ClearWater Treatment.  Check them out when you have a chance.

Telling Your Family You Have an Addiction Problem

JUN, 12 2012

2

Contributed by Nikki Seay.

The day that you find yourself actually having to admit that you have an addiction to drugs or alcohol is likely a day that is overwhelming and frightening. As addicts, we work so very hard to try and hide our addiction.

We work especially hard to hide it from the people we love and admire. These people are usually our family members. So how do you find the right words to look them in the eyes and tell them something that you know is going to break their hearts?

A Good Chance They Already Know

The truth of the matter is that if you have been in contact with your family members on any sort of regular basis during your addiction, they more than likely already know you have a problem with addiction. As addicts, we often think we are doing a real bang-up job at hiding our disease from the people we care about the most. In reality, we aren’t doing a good job at all.

Addiction is a disease that can only be hidden for so long, and then the signs become absolutely impossible to cover up. Anyone who knew you before addiction took control of your life already knows that something is terribly wrong. It may take them a little bit of time to figure it out, but they eventually put the pieces together.

When you begin to come up with what you want to say to your family, it’s probably best to assume that they already know you are struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction. When you stop to think about it, it is likely they have even attempted to talk to you about your addiction in the past. Don’t insult their intelligence by denying how long you have been trying to cover your tracks. Be honest with them, and they will be more receptive to the conversation.

While the conversation that you will need to have with your family will no doubt be an emotional one, you need to take the time beforehand to plan what you really want to say. You need to have a rational blueprint of sorts. The reason for this “blueprint” is so you can be sure to say what needs to be said, not what just ends up coming out of your mouth in reaction to emotions like pain or anger.

Getting Needed Addiction Treatment

The most important part of the conversation with your family will be the part where you tell them what you are going to do to help yourself. No doubt, you will want to tell them how sorry you are for any hurt you caused them (and they do need to hear you say that you are sorry), but you should also have some information to share with them about getting into an addiction treatment program.

You need to explain to them that you are ready and willing to acknowledge your addiction today. More importantly, you need to share with them that you are ready and eager to enter into an addiction treatment program. You may not have all the answers to give them about where or when you will enter into an addiction treatment center, and that’s okay. All you need to convey is that you are ready to do what needs to be done in order to get your life back. That is a great first step.

Your family may be upset with some of the things you have done during your struggle with addiction, but they will always love you. Family is forever, and they ultimately want to see you in recovery. The conversation you have with them to admit you are an addict may be a difficult discussion, but it is one that you have to face.

Once your loved ones see you are being honest and humble, they will be more than willing to help you through rehabilitation and provide you with a great support systemduring your addiction treatment. Once you have this conversation with your family, you will be surprised how much weight is lifted off your shoulders, and how much more ready you’ll feel to begin your recovery.

Honestly, I love the part that says "they already know"!  Isn't that the truth.

Have a great weekend.

~the developer from recoveryBox

Haven't downloaded recoveryBox yet, check it out!

Thanksgiving Survival Guide For those in Recovery for an Addiction

This week's Random Resource ThuRsday is about Getting Ready for Next ThurSday ~ Thanksgiving!

Found this wonderful Survival Guide for Thanksgiving (from Crying Out Loud's Blog) and things that we can all do to prepare for what could be a challenging time.  Let's not let a day of which we should reflect and be grateful for those we have in our lives be turned into a day or relapse.  Read on!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Thanksgiving is two days away.   Holidays can be difficult for sober people, or people struggling to get or stay sober.

Now is a good time to prepare.

We thought we'd share some tips.   You can not only survive Thanksgiving, you can enjoy it.   All you need to do is plan ahead.    Please add your own in the comments below; this is by no means a comprehensive list.

1. Think ahead.  Is it hard for you to be around alcohol?   Be honest with yourself.  Now is not a time for heroics.   Keep your expectations realistic:  if it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for Thanksgiving.   Don't set yourself up to fail.    You can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.  
2. Thanksgiving is usually about family.  If there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready.    You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.  
3. Have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough.   If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are NOT alone.
4. Bring your own beverages.  This is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober.   If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.  
5. You don't have to over explain.   If someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer.   A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.   
6. Have an escape plan.  If you can, bring your own car.    Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.
7. Plan your exit in advance.   If everyone is going to settle in to watch football and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... don't.   Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.
8. Remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers.   Give yourself credit for staying strong.
9. Think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested.    Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "I wish I drank last night."
10. Think through the drink.   If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed.    Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.
11. Remind yourself that Thanksgiving is just one day.    A simple 24 hours, just like any other day.   Don't put more importance on this day over any other.  
12. Go to bed.   If the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest.   Tomorrow is a new day.
13. Believe in yourself.   Getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true.   If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door.   Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.
14. Forgive yourself for wanting to drink.   Don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural.   Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.
15. Be grateful.    Thanksgiving is a time of giving thanks.. make a gratitude list and carry it with you.   Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have.   Sober, you can do anything. 

Please add more thoughts and ideas in the comments; we want to hear from you.    Addiction thrives in the dark, and together we bring the light.

You are not alone.

And don't forget, add your Lights into recoveryBox, and let your sponsor see how awesome you did!!

Paul and Bridget meet for Coffee

Paul and Bridget meet for coffee to talk about how their addiction recovery is going. Bridget has just started using recoveryBox the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery and in a short time is noticing that her recovery is headed on the right direction.  She's now sober for 14 days.

Bridget talked about how she likes the color coded system as well.  She had some yellow lights and her sponsor noticed something interesting.  They talk about how to use light system with a counselor or accountability/sponsor for a 12 Step program or Celebrate Recovery program.

Bridget has set some goals in order to better take care of herself.  And they both get to add this meeting as a G2 Green Light since it is about Emotional Self-Care.


Don't have recoveryBox yet??  Get it here!

Spiritual Self-Care Part of Addiction Recovery

Spiritual Self-Care is one of those sticky subjects when it comes to Addiction Recovery.  However, for myself and the friend who recoveryBox was originally built, neither of us would be where we are today without our Spiritual lives.

In the app, Spiritual Self-Care is a G3.  It's the third "level" of the green lights. And the reason that it's the last green light is because you have to take care of yourself physically before you can even have anything left in you to cope with the next level - emotions.  And you have to work on emotions before you can even begin to think deeper about Spirituality.

Yes, these 3 levels of green lights WILL occur concurrently, however you will see a shift.  In the beginning when you are just starting to tackle your addiction, you will notice that you have a few G1's and not many G2's and maybe only one G3 (a quick prayer that goes like this "Oh God, please help me today").

But as time goes on you will notice that when you are really working hard at your recovery that your G3 numbers will increase.

Let's just start with the "how does it work with the app recoveryBox". Select the G3 Spiritual Self-Care from the list.

Next, you will see how it populates the screen.  When you want to record your spiritual self-care activities, select the comments field (where the stop sign is).

Then when you choose "Select From List", it will bring up the self-care items for this light that have been provided.  Remember, you can add whatever makes this work for you. recoveryBox just provides some ideas to get you thinking.  Remember, if you do devotions, twice a day then remember to record it as two G3 Spiritual Self-Care lights. Give yourself credit for all the healthy habit activities that you do each day.

This is just the how to record it in recoveryBox, later this week come back to see the why during the Random Resource ThuRsday post.

Thinking about using recoveryBox?  Check it out here.

Ready to download recoveryBox the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery, then Download it here.

Yesterday's daily devotion was a video from IamSecond.com. It featured Brian's life and his decision to give up his Meth addiction.  It is so powerful as are so many of the videos on the site that I thought I would share it as well here on my the app's main blog.

Here is a small video but to see/read more PLEASE visit the IamSecond.com site.

For daily devotions from recoveryBox, visit http://recoveryboxdevos.blogspot.com

Random Resource ThuRsday ~ Healing Emotional Wounds

As part of my Random Resource ThuRsday series, I'll be providing insight into other resources that are out there.  Today's I'm linking to a sight for the topic of "Healing Those Stubborn Emotional Wounds".

We all have some sort of baggage in our past that we have to deal with.  I will admit some more so than others but regardless of how painful it is to open that wound again, it has to be done.  I will not pretend to have any answers on how to go about that because each of us has a personal journey that God is leading us down.  But I do know that whatever that might look like, it has to be done.  

I encourage you to visit with a counselor, pastor, trusted friend, trained professional.  Only you know where you are and what type of pain you can handle but the healing must begin.  Trained professionals really can provide insight and advice on moving forward.

And if you are a friend of someone who is going through some sort of addiction recovery, trust me, just being there to listen is such an amazing gift.  Don't be there to solve problems...but to be a good listener.

"Healing Those Stubborn Emotional Wounds" from PsychCentral.