Yes, Pornography IS an Addiction!! Random Resource ThuRsday

Yes, Pornography IS an Addiction!!

Do I have your attention now?  I mean it's easier to see something visually right like the picture above?

Yes, viewing pornography is an addiction.  And in this country (and around the world even) many don't view it as an addiction.  It's not harming anyone right?  So it can't be bad like drugs or alcohol, right?

Oh so very wrong.  Those who view porn do it to get the same release that say a cocaine user or alcohol user does.  Look at the picture above.  See how the brain responds with the dopamine in almost identical ways?  Look again!  Viewing porn actually releases more dopamine than some other addictions like cocaine, food, morphine.

And the thing is, our minds are wired to store visuals. So, unlike these other addictions which require an item to be inhaled, ingested, drunk, etc in order to product that high - a person addicted to porn can do it without needing an item.  Once a visual is stored in memory, one can retrieve it.  And with the visual is also stored what happened when the visual was first viewed.  And voila. How the cycle continues.

Pornography addictions is so vastly growing.  With the internet, we can pipe these images right onto our computers or ipads, or phones with only a small search.  It's so accessible and can be done right in the privacy of your own home.

But beware, like with other addictions, your need to have that high will increase. And often the urge to view porn and masturbate will come more often esp with triggers and users will often risk more to get that high.  Many a people have LOST THEIR JOBS from viewing porn at work.  Many a marriages have been destroyed because a man would rather masturbate than make love to his wife.

The human being was created to crave intimacy.  When those needs are not met, many turn to pornography.

We thrive on intimate interactions and relationships with others. When our need for intimacy is neglected, our lives seem unpredictable, hostile, and stressful. The desire to escape or take flight from this stress can be overwhelming. When these conditions are present, we’re more likely to seek sources of release through addictive, and often, abusive behaviors. Unfortunately, when the “vacation” from the stressful environment is over, we return to the same, if not worsened, conditions–the negative emotional environment in which we repeat our cycles of addiction.

“With sexual addiction, instant sexual gratification becomes the addict’s most important, all-consuming pursuit. Part of the elevated mood generated by the activity may involve risk. Special routines and patterns may be followed that increase excitement, usually concluding in a sexual event…over which the addict feels absolutely no control.” (P. 295 Darryl S. S. Inaba, Michael E. Holstein, William E. Cohen, Uppers, Downers, All Arounders, CNS Publications, Inc., July 2000, Edition Number: 4.)

Pornography is an illusionary solution to meet the intimate needs of any participant. It shortcuts the natural process of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually close to another. The sensations are superficial. The bitter irony is that pornography and the use of the Internet for sexual expression actually increases the likelihood of separation from others: the exact opposite of intimacy.

I think this visual is very telling.  Look at the search engine request figure.  Look at the misconceptions...it's OK because I'm over the age of 18 and it's not illegal right? I could actually give you lots more figures but I think you get the picture.  I got the visuals from http://pornographyaddiction.com.  It's loaded with information so please check it out and become educated.

Treatment for pornography addictions can be a tricky one.  But with attention growing about this, centers are really starting to take a much more aggressive approach with pornography addictions.  Just as a side note, recoveryBox was first created for pornography addictions and was later expanded to incorporate lots of other addictions.  In some areas, porn treatment centers are co-mingled with places where sex offenders are required to undergo treatment.  Be careful of where you select treatment. As with all programs, if it's not a good fit for you then find somewhere else.  But seek help!

And now I bring this full circle.  Why was this the Random Resource ThuRsday?  Because even possessing an item in the house can lead to a relapse and it's so easy.  So go clean out the attic!  The closet!  Wherever you have it stashed.  If you are not at the stage where you can clean it out because you feel too tempted then ask someone you trust to do it for you.

Check out next week's Random Resource ThuRsday where I offer ideas and resources to protect your eyes, hearts, self, family and children from pornography.

Want recoveryBox, the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery.  There are multiple sex addictions to select from.  See which one meets your needs and download it now.  Be accountable to someone!

Porn Addiction Recovery App

Wanting to break free from a pornography addiction (porn) is not easy. Viewing porn creates the same chemical highs in the brain as using drugs or drinking alcohol. But the difference with porn is that once the images are viewed they are in your brain and you can retrieve them at will and thus recreating that high.

recoveryBox - the Addiction recovery iOS App

recoveryBox was created originally for those in recovery from a pornography or sex addiction.  There are different addictions that you can choose from such as Lust, Sex Addiction, Pornography, Voyeurism. These are there as suggestions of the types of habits that need to be broken (called your red lights).  But you can create your own type of addiction that would work better for you by creating your own custom red lights.

By tracking your good habits (green lights) as well as warning situations (yellow lights - people, places, and things) and triggers you can create a clear picture of what habits you have as well as need to break. Keep accountable with your sponsor or counselor or accountability partner. recoveryBox will let you know it's time to enter your daily lights as well will remind you to connect with your sponsor.

recoveryBox works well with a traditional 12 Step Program or Celebrate Recovery.  Try recoveryBox today. Available for any Apple iDevice.

Don't worry if the lights you see here don't match what you need help with. Customize the addiction to match what you need to track. Users will also want to track their triggers (also customizable) so that accountability partners/sponsors can get a good picture of what's going on.

Want to break the addiction? Accountability does work!

And remember, there are multiple sex addictions to choose from OR you can create your own custom
addiction to meet your specific needs.

Yellow Light Y2 - Intentionally putting oneself at Place of Risk ~ Caution

Some might ask how can being "somewhere" be a Yellow Light?  I mean, it's just a "place" right?

Well, for some with an addiction, just being somewhere can be the trigger.  Even though a "place" doesn't speak to you to convince you to "act out", it can actually trigger the voice in your mind that tells you what to do.

Follow me on this.  For those who suffer from alcoholism, going to a bar for happy hour may not be the smartest of decisions or going to a friends party where you know there will be alcohol.  Because at this "place" you have access to the actual thing that you are trying to break away from.  Or for those suffering from a pornography addiction, perhaps going to Hooters will trigger the feeling inside that you so crave leading to "acting out".  What about those with a shopping addiction?  Should going to the mall be on your agenda?

Now these are not hard and in stone rules.  Of course not.  Each person must decide for themselves if being at a certain place is dangerous to the undoing of their sobriety.  However, sometimes we just don't know.  Or perhaps it is so early in the recovery process that we know these "places" are triggers.

So, I would think logic would say to STAY AWAY!  You have worked so hard to finally admit your problem and start the hard work of beating this addiction, why would you place yourself in harms way?

The reason it is considered a Y2 light, "Intentionally putting oneself at a Place of Risk" is so that you are accountable for putting yourself there.  Remember, Yellow Lights are not acting out lights..these are just the flags that say..Stop and Slow Down! Consider the Implications!  What could this lead to?

Because entering a yellow light requires adding an explanation of the situation it is helpful so that your accountability partner can see the situation.  It is also helpful to begin to see patterns.  When searching over a months time, see how many yellow lights you had.  Are they all on a certain day of the week?  Do they always occur when ...

Sometimes it really is obvious - at least most often for an outsider.  But not always.  And with data at your fingertips, you can't deny the actions of your life.

So PLEASE don't be afraid to report a yellow.  Be accountable to someone for it and perhaps come up with plans on how to change why the yellow even happened so it doesn't turn into a red light in the future.


Don't have recoveryBox yet?  Make the SMALL investment and begin to see your habits change.
To download, click here.  For more information, visit the recoveryBox app website (you can always download it from there if you decide).

G2 ~ Treatment Self-Care recoveryBox iPhone Mobile Addiction Recovery App

Being in treatment for addiction recovery, one would think that a G2 - Treatment Self-Care should have been on the top of the list for Daily Lights activities.  The reason it's not is because as I wrote about before, you really need to take care of yourself physically which is why Treatment Self-Care falls into the next category of Green Lights.

G2 Treatment Self-Care lights are activities that we do as an individual as part of our treatment.  Each person will have some basic activities that will look the same but then it will be different due to the reasons that we have an addiction.  

Of course self-care such as counseling is of the upmost importance.  You can't get better from an addiction without knowing the why behind why you act out!  And for myself (and just about everyone else that I've talked too in recovery) will have a counselor and most often he/she will assign homework.  Homework can be from reading something, thinking and journaling, workbooks, creating inventories, asking for forgiveness from someone, offering forgiveness, etc.  In fact, following a traditional 12 Step Program or Celebrate Recovery step is part of treatment self-care.

For others it can be taking medications as part of treatment for a variety of things such as anxiety or depression.  For myself, I can count taking meds as one G2- Treatment Self-Care but there are others who must take them 3 or 4 times a day and in order to be compliant they can count that as 3 or 4 G2 Treatment Self-Care lights.

recoveryBox was built so that you can customize these lights.  You don't have to add comments for any green lights but here is where for some it's vital to keep track of what a day looks like.  When you select the button to add your comments you will see a few already suggested for you BUT please make this list work for you.  Add what you need as part of your treatment self-care.

Later, you will see how you can add a Goal for Treatment Self-Care..make sure anytime you interact with a goal that you add a Green Light for that.  Boost up your confidence by realizing all the wonderful progress you are making in your addiction recovery.

Beginning to see how recoveryBox and the visual of Lights makes it easy to see the Go Go Go aspect of doing positive things for addiction recovery.

Wondering if recoveryBox is right for you?  Download it today from the Apple store and give it a whirl.

Wondering what addictions this will work for?  When you download recoveryBox you will first be prompted to choose one (or more) addictions from the list. There are over 50 to choose from..

~ Adrenaline-Producing Activities ~ Alcohol ~ Anger~ Being Right ~ Caffeine ~ Cocaine ~ CoDependency ~ Collecting "stuff" ~ Cumpulsive Behavior ~ Drug Abuse ~ Eating Disorder ~ Emotional Addiction ~ Escapism/Amusement ~ Exercise ~ Fantasizing ~ Gambling ~ Getting One's Own Way ~ Heroin ~ Hoarding ~ Idolization ~ Isolation ~ Laziness ~ Lust ~ Marijuana ~ Media (TV, Internet, etc) ~ Methadone ~ Opiates ~ OverWorking ~ People Pleasing ~ Perfectionism ~ Pornography ~ Prescription Drugs ~ Risky Behaviors ~ Sadism ~ Self Injurous ~ Self-Judgement ~ Sex Addiction ~ Shopping ~ Smoking ~ Sniffing ~ Social Media ~ Steroids ~ Substance Abuse ~ Theft ~ Tobacco ~ Travel ~ Trivia ~ Vandalism ~ Vicodin (pain killers) ~ Video Games ~ Voyeurism

What addictions are supported in recoveryBox the iOS app built for addiction recovery?

Want to know what addictions are part of recoveryBox the iOS app?  here goes (but if you don't find one you like you can create your own by customizing the yellow and red lights)

List of Addictions currently supported in recoveryBox:

~ Adrenaline-Producing Activities
~ Alcohol
~ Anger
~ Being Right
~ Caffeine
~ Cocaine
~ CoDependency
~ Collecting "stuff"
~ Cumpulsive Behavior
~ Drug Abuse
~ Eating Disorder
~ Emotional Addiction
~ Escapism/Amusement
~ Exercise
~ Fantasizing
~ Gambling
~ Getting One's Own Way
~ Heroin
~ Hoarding
~ Idolization
~ Isolation
~ Laziness
~ Lust
~ Marijuana
~ Media (TV, Internet, etc)
~ Methadone
~ Opiates
~ OverWorking
~ People Pleasing
~ Perfectionism
~ Pornography
~ Prescription Drugs
~ Risky Behaviors
~ Sadism
~ Self Injurous
~ Self-Judgement
~ Sex Addiction
~ Shopping
~ Smoking
~ Sniffing
~ Social Media
~ Steroids
~ Substance Abuse
~ Theft
~ Tobacco
~ Travel
~ Trivia
~ Vandalism
~ Vicodin (pain killers)
~ Video Games
~ Voyeurism

YES!  You can even choose more than one from the list for concurrent addictions.

QUESTION: why do some of the Addictions have related addictions?  Well, we thought it best to make the "red" lights specific to the addiction.  For example, you may select just pornography from the list or you may combine it with voyeurism if those combined paint a better picture of what your addiction looks like.

Regardless of which addiction you select, the recoveryBox works the same for all of them..it's built around accountability and replacing those bad habits with new ones (as well as understanding the when/why of what you do!)

Download recoveryBox today!

Part 3 : One to One Accountability and Your Sponsor

This is where the the entire concept for recoveryBox comes together. You have been diligent about entering your Lights and Triggers and now...

It's time to be honest with someone other than yourself.  And that's why you have a sponsor or accountability partner from a traditional 12 Step Program or from Celebrate Recovery.

When you send a text/email to your accountability partner, it will tally all of the Green, Yellow and Red lights.  You select the time frame (when I write more about the accountability module I'll explain how the dates default).

This is what's so awesome..there is no remembering what the day or week looked like because you already did the work when you entered the lights!!  And believe me it is work being honest to yourself.  

As you can see I use recoveryBox to text (as that's the default I set up) each day by 10:00PM.   It really is that simple and my sponsor can see  as a snapshot what my day looked like.  Let's see an example of what the system builds as a started text/email ( I can edit the piece of communication if I want before I send it too).

As you can see it puts the date (and in my case it's just the one date otherwise it's the range of dates I selected). Then it puts a total of my lights broken down by color...My sponsor and I have made a Green target number I'm supposed to hit and it changes as I meet my goals.

The Yellows and Red's are the hardest for me but it's where I'm being completely honest with myself and another.  Under the settings panel I've enabled comments to be added to my communication piece.  I have nothing to hide from my sponsor but it's nice to have the option (again, when I write more about that module, I'll show you how to enable those).

If I entered any triggers for the day, anything over a green level is included as well as my journaling.  I love being able to communicate to my sponsor without having to retype anything..yet I have it all recorded for me.  Sometimes my sponsor sees something that he is concerned about and will either call or text me back right away..but most times I just get a response saying "OK".  And that's all I need.

This part of recoveryBox is what really allows communication and knowledge to happen between my sponsor and myself.  BUT I do use this with my counselor too.  Sometimes I'm asked how the week was and it's so easy to pull up the information any way I want.  And I'm much more accurate because I can't say "I forgot".

Being successful in Addiction Recovery is about making changes.  With recoveryBox you can actually quantify the changes ~ and that's a good thing!

Use recoveryBox now for your Addiction Recovery.

Random Resource ThuRsday - So I shouldn't Go "There". Now What?

This week I wrote about how just being at a location is dangerous to the undoing of our sobriety. I found a wonderful resource that talks about this and a lot more.  In this document are tons on strategies to fight the addiction.  Take a look.

For more from this recovery website, visit http://www.markhoustonrecovery.com.

Below is the section from the resource that deals with Being at the Place (the Y2) and strategies.
I am glad the author put this trigger at the top of the list.  It's why I have the Person of Risk as the Y1 and the Place as the Y2 Yellow Lights.  Warning!!  Warning!!  Use Caution here!

Relapse Trigger #1: Putting Yourself In Difficult Situations Like Visiting Your Favorite Bar Or Hanging Out With Friends Who Are Still Using

Perhaps the most difficult part of recovery is leaving behind old friends or old habits that got us into trouble in the first place. Even if we are committed to staying away from your previous group of friends or hangouts, if we don’t change our habits and interests, we can quickly find yourself with a new group of friends or hangout spots that are just as damaging to our recovery process.
Relapse Prevention Action Plan:

• Find alternative places to hang out like a local bookstore or coffee shop.
  
• Choose companions who seek a healthy lifestyle.
  
• Go to a recovery based meeting. 
  

I really do encourage you to read the rest of the pdf file.  It is loaded with strategies to help in your addiction recovery.

To download recoveryBox,visit the Apple App Store.

The Serenity Prayer ~ the history behind it

I was curious about the history behind this beautiful prayer and did a little research. Read below or click this link for the article.

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The Serenity Prayer is the common name for an untitled prayer originally written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the late1930s to early 1940s. It is believed that Niebuhr wrote the prayer for a sermon.

Elisabeth Sifton's book entitled The Serenity Prayer, which was published in 2003,,quotes this version as the authentic original:

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

The earliest verifiable texts so far discovered are an approximate version, apparently quoted from memory, in a query in the in The New York Times Book Review dated July 12, 1942 which asks for the author of the quotation; a reply in the same column issued on August 2, 1942 states the quotation is attributed to Niebuhr and an unidentified printed text is quoted as follows:

"O God and Heavenly Father,

Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen."

The serenity prayer became widely known when it was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous; In 1950, the AA Grapevine, an AA magazine, identified Niebuhr as the author and the current AA web site continues to identify Niebuhr as the author.

The serenity prayer is reported to have been in use in Alcoholics Anonymous since the early 1940s. It has also been used in Narcotics Anonymous and other Twelve-step programs.. The Alcoholics Anonymous version of the serenity prayer omits some of Niebuhr's text:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and (the) wisdom to know the difference."

Niebuhr discusses the Serenity Prayer and how it came about it in his book, The Essential Reinhold Niebuhr: Selected Essays and Addresses. He states,

"... The embarrassment, particularly, was occasioned by the incessant correspondence about a prayer I had composed years before, which the old Federal Council of Churches had used and which later was printed on small cards to give to soldiers. Subsequently Alcoholics Anonymous adopted it as its official prayer. The prayer reads: 'God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to dintinguish the one from the other.' ..."

In addition, Niebuhr's daughter, Elisabeth Sifton, wrote an entire book about her father's serenity prayer, The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War, that explores the circumstances around which her father wrote this prayer, the wide range of versions of this prayer, and the real essence of the prayer's meaning.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/552531

Complete Customization for Yellow Lights

There have been many requests to be able to personalize an addiction to make it so that Red Lights are meaningful to the events in your life. And that was a huge success.

COMING SOON
And so we heard your requests and have now added customized Yellow lights.

Yellow lights can be added while customizing red lights for the addiction you create OR you can choose to not create custom yellow lights and use the People, Place, Things pre-defined lights that are available for every pre-defined addiction OR you can use both.

We at recoveryBox want to create the most flexible app so that you will want to use it to be accountable. Recovery is all about accountability and adhering to your plan.

We are planning for this release to be available before the holidays and are in testing stages now. As soon as it's available we will post asap.

Yes, we do listen to your requests and try to implement them. So if you have more ideas, please let us know.  And may your recovery journey be one filled with success.

~ Be supported!

To download recoveryBox, visit the Apple Store.

Preparing For Change and the Mistakes We Make

The Parallels of Recovery and New Features 

As we are working on the new features of recoveryBox (features that our users have asked us to implement that would aid in their recovery), it's interesting to note that as a team we have come up with observations that you might find interesting and how it parallels recovery.

In fact, these are lessons that really apply to just about anything!

• If it's something that I am asking for - perhaps others can benefit from it as well.  I think that's actually the point of support groups too -- if I'm going through it, then perhaps others have my same experiences and perhaps I can gain from their journey.

• It takes courage! Not everyone thinks about asking for features..rather many jump to criticism. But what I tell anyone who writes to me...this app is truly the first of it's kind and it's based on the input from many different counselors and behavior modification systems. And so, there is a chance that what you need might not be a part of them app, or perhaps it's there but you just don't know how to use it. So sending an email is a great way to ask for help. And like the road to recovery, instead of getting down on how the system doesn't always work, ask for help!  There are so many willing to help you out.

• We all make mistakes!!  Currently I am working on fixing bugs that either I have found in recoveryBox or that have been brought to my attention. Being the person that I am, I hate to make mistakes..not because of pride but rather because I'm afraid to let others down.  And during my own journey I have learned that I am NOT perfect, I have to give myself room to be human and make mistakes. Where we grow as a person, is when we learn from our mistakes.

• Preparation is KEY! As part of a new recoveryBox version, I am mapping out app the places that I have to make changes. This one feature specifically, while a seemingly small request really touches on the heart of the app and therefore we need to make a lot of changes. In doing so, we have to look at our existing code, plan for the changes we need to make and then test test test!  We want to be prepared so that when we make a change we can support it well.  In recovery, we must prepare for the changes we need to make. Trying to give up drinking while running with the same crowd won't do it. Trying to give up viewing pornography while not making plans to protect your eyes is foolish. If we want to be successful, we must step back, analyze the situation and then make plans.

• We don't always get what we want! Making changes to recoveryBox based on user requests is exciting because it means there is a huge opportunity to help others. But, there are times when my team has to make difficult decisions such as "How many people have requested this feature?", "How much time will this take to develop?", "Is this truly the best direction for recoveryBox?", "What other demands do I see coming down the road from Apple that I need to implement in order to keep recoveryBox in the store?", "When/if is the right time to try and create the same app in android land?" These really are difficult decisions to make and unfortunately since my team is REALLY small, we can't always satisfy every request.  And in recovery, we don't always get what we want either. Not every relationship is going to be reconciled because of past baggage.  But what we need to remember is - "DID I TRY MY BEST?" and if the answer is yes - then we must learn to accept and move on.

If you haven't already tried recoveryBox, perhaps it's a tool that can get you going in the right direction toward your sobriety. And hopefully the new version will be in the Apple store within a few weeks more!

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Download recoveryBox Addiction Recovery App - Your Complete Accountability Sobriety Toolbox

recoveryBox Uses the Celebrate Recovery Steps or a Traditional 12 Steps - you decide!

Many of us need to utilize structured programs in order to maintain our sobriety. Following a traditional 12 Step program or a Celebrate Recovery program is a great way to do that.  Regardless of which you decide is right for you, it is possible to track your progress in recoveryBox.  You can add goals for each step and journal each step  as well.  Some of us choose to make it very personal and write out our thoughts while others prefer to think about it but not write it down.  Please write to us if you have any questions about how to use this part of the recoveryBox app or if you have suggestions.  We are always here to help!

To access these tools, Click More Tools -> 12 Step Program

Don't have recoveryBox yet, Get it today at the app store.

Download recoveryBox, Addiction Recovery App - Your Complete Sobriety Toolbox

Surviving the Holidays During Addiction Recovery

 Surviving the Holidays During Addiction Recovery

We all know that this time of year gets to be, well super CRAZY!  Holiday parties, shopping, lights, festive music, people being merry and so much more.  For some the holidays are the hardest time of the year to get through. I'm not here to offer the perfect way to achieve this, but I do have a few tips that I can pass along.

First, remember the "Reason for the Season".  I know it's an over used phrase but it really does remind us why we are celebrating.  God gave us an amazing gift so very long ago and it would do us well to ponder what that means to us.  If we think about how God sent Jesus to "give us a second chance" we realize that we did nothing to deserve this.  God didn't just sent Jesus without giving the necessary tools to achieve this gift of freedom.  And just like our recovery, we have a second chance complete with a set of tools to not just help us cope, but to succeed.

Second, remember what your tools are.  Always go back to what gets you through each and every day. Just because it's a "special" time of year does not mean it's time to let go all that we worked for.  Make a list of what helps you, and refer to it often during these next few weeks.  Is it a picture of your kids to motivate you? It is knowing that you have a lifeline through an accountability partner or sponsor?  Is it your spiritual life? What about your friends and family?  Ponder on how these tools help you remain grounded and use them to stay sober.

Third, don't put yourself in a situation where you might be tempted to relapse.  In recoveryBox, these would be your yellow lights.  Being with a person, or at a place, or possessing an item that is a temptation are warning signs to take caution (hence the yellow light as in a stop light - take caution).  Be on guard.  

Examples: 

• If going to a staff party is going to be filled with alcohol, then have a plan.  Perhaps have a tumbler of water or coffee in your hands at all time.  You already have your drink so no need to get another.  Or if the temptation is just too much then either go with someone you trust to help you or don't go at all!  

• Shopping addicts find this to be an incredibly tempting time of year.  And it's so easy to "justify" the buying because it's what's expected right?  OK, first again, focus on the "Reason for the Season" and you will be reminded that NO this time of year is not all about buying.  Some practical tips include go shopping with someone you can trust to help you say "no". Make a list and keep to it!  Shop with cash only - yes, leave the credit cards at home.  Make a budget and stick to it.  Or even consider giving a different type of gift in honor or a person - perhaps find an organization that you feel the person cares deeply about and give a donation in their name.

• Another easy trap is for those who have addictions to pornography.  Sometimes it's easy to say well I'm going to shop online and not head out to the stores.  Well, perhaps that will lead to just "surfing" for the best deals or that perfect present.  "Surfing" is not healthy with any type of sexual addiction. Know exactly where you want to go on the internet to shop.  Stick to the major players like amazon.com.  Have a trusted person sit beside you while you shop online..yup, do it together.  And of course I'm a huge believer of having your house all set up using opendns.com (it's free for home use and it's awesome!)

• For those with an eating addictions, this is such a tricky time of year.  All the goodies and wonderful smells that linger in the air.  Yup, I myself have a hard time here even though it's not my addiction.  But, again when going to a party make smart choices.  If you eat too much then use a small plate or brush your teeth before you go (or even during - sounds funny but who likes to eat with minty fresh breath), or drink a lot of water before you go to fill your tummy.  If you don't like to eat then make a plan of what you need to eat or even eat ahead of time.  Sometimes nibbling along can help us get what we need.  

• Isolation around this time of year is easy to do for so many reasons.  But it's the worst thing to do.  Being alone is a trigger for many so make sure to mingle in the celebrations to be with others.  Or attend spiritual events to keep you focused.  When we isolate ourselves we tend to revert to bad habits.

These are just a few tips for specific addictions.  I can't pretend to know everything that is helpful nor do I know your specific triggers.  But, your accountability partner or sponsor should, so have a conversation with them.  They should be able to offer more specific ideas to you.  

Fourth, and this can be a doozy for some...let go of past resentments.  Many times these are between family members and since we often get together with our families at some point during the holiday season it can be awkward to say the least.  Part of your recovery is letting those resentments go to make yourself healthy again.  Who knows, maybe this is the year to even make amends during this season. This could be a great time to open up and be honest.  Being vulnerable is very tough to do, but it is where healing happens.

And lastly (OK, I could make this go on forever, but let's face it we are busy people), I would say minimize your stressors.  Stress can be one of our biggest triggers.  So if you stress about not having all your shopping done, tackle a bit each night. Set realistic expectations too of yourself and others. We all know what our stressors are.  Goodness, for me sometimes you can just say a certain name and the hair on the back of my neck starts to rise.  But thinking it through and making a plan to deal with the stress can be helpful. And remember nobody is perfect.

I wish you a blessed holiday season.

~ from the developer of recoveryBox

PS.  Don't forget to record it in recoveryBox the app.  It will be wild to see how this year's holiday will stack up again next years.  If you don't own recoveryBox or want to gift it to someone, visit the iTunes store or follow this link to recoveryBox in the iTunes store..

Acting Out - Yes the Red Lights

UPDATE: please know that you can create your own red lights to really tailor recoveryBox to your needs.  Be supported!!

First, I must say I hope that you never have to record a Red Light because it does mean that you have broken your sobriety.  BUT, please don't be overly hard on yourself.  If you do indeed need to record one then do so and move on.  We all make mistakes but the difference is if we learn from them.

How Red Lights work in recoveryBox.

1. Each addiction will have a different Set of Red Lights.  They are specific to your addiction.  Until this point, all Green Lights and Yellow Lights have been the same for all addictions.  recoveryBox wants to make this specific for your addiction.
2. Record a reason why you acted out.
3. Consider entering any triggers that you can think of that might help understand why you acted out.  Even if you just can't make sense of it, enter the triggers anyway.
4. Send the text/email to your accountability partner.  Please don't skip this just because you have entered a red light.  This is the most critical time that you need to honest.  It might leave you feeling vulnerable but you are not alone.  This is where you are going to get the support you need through a sponsor or accountability partner.
5. recoveryBox WILL automatically adjust your sobriety date (if you are using that module) based on the red light that you enter.  You don't need to worry about entering it in 2 different places.  

Please don't feel ashamed and wallow in a relapse.  Know it happens, pick yourself up and learn from the mistake.  It's what you do with it that counts.

Below you will see different Red Light scenarios based on 3 different addiction types.  

Alcohol Addiction

Pornography Addiction

Eating Disorder Addiction

There are over 50 addictions to choose from in recoveryBox AND you can even choose multiple addictions at the same time if you need to.

Want to try out recoveryBox,

the iPhone app for addiction recovery, 

download it today.

Random Resource ThuRsday - "I'm No Angel" by Kylie Bisutti

Today's Random Resource ThuRsday is a book titled "I'm No Angel" by Kylie Bisutti.

In the book she talks about the fashion industry - and the motivation behind it. Let's face it folks - we know sex sells.  If it didn't, pornography and sex trafficking wouldn't be such the problem that it is.  But why is it that viewing the Victoria Runway show, or bra commercials during early morning TV shows is considered OK?  Kylie has written about how it's not OK and her decision to leave it behind.

Below is the description of the book..I highly recommend the read. Great book even for young girls to read. Very tough choice and her decision should be applauded.

In December 2011, 21-year-old Victoria’s Secret model Kylie Bisutti stunned the fashion industry when she chose faith over fame and fortune and made the switch from supermodel to role model. 

In I’m No Angel, Kylie shares her story—from her early years struggling to make it big in the cut-throat world of modeling, her “big break” winning the Victoria’s Secret Angel competition, and the disillusionment and spiritual warfare that followed, to the moment she realized that she could no longer reconcile her career with her Christian beliefs, surrendered her life to God, turned in her Angel wings, and dedicated her life to preaching a message of modesty and inner beauty. 

Along the way, Kylie talks about her personal struggles with inadequacy, low self-esteem, and her near-constant quest for approval in a world where you can never be thin enough, pretty enough, or sexy enough. She helps readers understand that true beauty lies within and that real fulfillment comes from knowing, loving, and serving Christ.

If you have a problem with a pornography addiction, please check out recoveryBox, the iPhone App. It's a complete toolset to help you break your addiction.  Like Kylie, break free from a world where sex defines who we are.

Random Resource ThuRsday - Filtering Software

Looking for other options for filtering software for your computer, visit pornharms.org resource section.

2 of the resources on the page I have already blogged about..but perhaps there is another resource that might work better for your family. Regardless, help protect everyone's eyes!

Being Sober ~ It's Good to Be Acknowledged

Staying Sober IS an Accomplishment.  And as humans we desire to have our accomplishments be acknowledged. We want to know that we are on the right track and that our efforts are not in vain. As children we look up to our parents and teachers for praise. As adults we look to our bosses, peers, spouses, friends for that same praise.  Look, even Facebook has a "Like" button so I know I'm not off my rocker writing this.  

And it's not a bad thing.  It's why the AA program as well as Celebrate Recovery has a system for saying great job with their chips.  And so at recoveryBox, it was felt that we need to praise and support those who are using our app and perhaps not attending a traditional meeting of some sort.

We hope you understand how PROUD we are of each and every time you see that screen come up!!  Some will want to keep it private - say between you and your sponsor.  Others will want to share on a social media site like Facebook and Twitter.

Be proud of your hard work.  I know I am!

Serenity Prayer for Addiction Recovery

Many of the users of recoveryBox Asked for me to include the Serenity Prayer. And so it's now available in the Resources Section of the app.

I know I personally prayed it many times while attending Celebrate Recovery as I know it's part of the traditional twelve step program.

Remember, live ONE day at a time.

And don't forget to give yourself a Green Light each time you say this prayer.  You deserve that!

Want to know more about recoveryBox, the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery? Check out our site. You can download it from there as well if you think it's something that can help you during your recovery journey.

Protecting Your Eyes from Pornography

Last week's Random Resource ThuRsday was about pornography.  And I urged you to rid your house of physical items that are pornographic in nature.

This week I have 2 resources to use for the internet.  Now first, let me say that NOTHING is fail-safe.  And in all likely hood you will probably need a combination of plans in place if the addiction is strong enough.  But with proper treatment you can be victorious.



My first resource is opendns.com.

What is DNS.  Think of DNS as the map of getting to where you want to go on the internet.  Regular DNS does not distinguish between sites.  It's just takes you where you need to be based on what you type (and some stuff in the background).  OpenDNS has a filtering mechanism.  Think of it as a firewall to keep out unwanted visitors as well as unwanted sites.

OpenDNS is EASY to implement and I think by far one of the best systems out there.  You might think it's going to be slow because if you ever tried a filter piece of software..well it does bog down your machine.  I am not going to explain how it does it (but I do know if you are interested).  It is very fast!

We have young children here at our house that use their iDevices all the time.  And with TV's being able to access internet sites directly from your remote control, the scenarios of pornography being accessible is so much more complex than adding a piece of software as was done in days past.  Well, OpenDNS fixes some of that.  When implemented it will make all of your devices go through this filtering.

For home solutions, check out their site.  And the best part is that it is FREE!  Actually what I love best is that if one of my kids tries to access an inappropriate website, they will see a message with a picture I uploaded letting them know that Mom and Dad think it's inappropriate.

NOTE:: with any search engines, visuals are so HARD to block.  So you might want to think about blocking search engine use or using Safe Searches using Google. I could get into why it's almost impossible to block these images, but in reality it's a Google thing (and I truly wish they would take a stronger look at this).

But for a HUGE number of these sites, OPENDNS will block it.


My next resource is CovenentEyes.com

Now this is a different solution as it requires adding a piece of software onto your machine.  It currently works for Windows, iDevices, Android (sorry no Blackberry or Windows Phone 7..at least not as of this writing). As of this writing the Mac only allows for accountability and not filtering..

What makes this different if that you can have time controls as well as sensitivity levels. but more importantly it sends a report to your accountability partner of all the sites that you have visited.  

Yesterday's daily devotion was a video from IamSecond.com. It featured Brian's life and his decision to give up his Meth addiction.  It is so powerful as are so many of the videos on the site that I thought I would share it as well here on my the app's main blog.

Here is a small video but to see/read more PLEASE visit the IamSecond.com site.

For daily devotions from recoveryBox, visit http://recoveryboxdevos.blogspot.com

Y3 Yellow Light :: Intentionally Possess Object of Risk

Having an object that is contrary to staying sober seems to be an obvious yellow.  Some would argue a Red Light, But I say it's just  a Yellow.

Just because you possess the item doesn't mean that you are going to use the item! It's a choice! And because it's a choice, it's why I have it as a Yellow Light!!

Y3 : Intentionally Possess and Item of Risk.

But let's be clear here.  It's a recipe for disaster.  I mean why do you even have it?  You know that by using the item or looking at it then you will be having to start your sobriety from square one, feel ashamed besides other emotions and all that goes along with using again.

So, it's a no brainer.  Get rid of it!

• Get rid of the alcohol in your house!
• Get rid of that pornographic video in the attic!
• Drugs lingering around the house? Trash them now!

Clean out!

And yes we live in a fallen world and there are temptations everywhere, but (and I feel like a cliche when I write this), but Just Say No!

Don't make it possible so that when the urge is there and you need that rush to easily grab that magazine or drink and fulfill that need.  Fill that need with something else - go for a walk. For visit a friend. Do something other than grab that item.

Yes, I understand that "things" don't do bad things.  It's when people use those things.  But why have the temptation? Why allow a trigger cause you to run to the very vice you are trying to cut off.

I really don't have much to say on this topic except GET RID OF IT ALL!

I completely understand that this doesn't apply to all addictions.  I mean you can't get rid of food.  But you can get rid of junk food. And you can't get of the internet (OK I couldn't) but you can use something like opendns.com or Covenant Eyes.  There are always things you can do to help yourself.  It's about making a choice.

Have a great day!  Now go clean out!


PS. If you need help cleaning out but just can't seem to get started - perhaps it's time to talk with your counselor or accountability partner on what is making it so hard to let go.


Wanting to download recoveryBox and see how it can help you?  Visit the Apple App store.