Yellow Light Y2 - Intentionally putting oneself at Place of Risk ~ Caution

Some might ask how can being "somewhere" be a Yellow Light?  I mean, it's just a "place" right?

Well, for some with an addiction, just being somewhere can be the trigger.  Even though a "place" doesn't speak to you to convince you to "act out", it can actually trigger the voice in your mind that tells you what to do.

Follow me on this.  For those who suffer from alcoholism, going to a bar for happy hour may not be the smartest of decisions or going to a friends party where you know there will be alcohol.  Because at this "place" you have access to the actual thing that you are trying to break away from.  Or for those suffering from a pornography addiction, perhaps going to Hooters will trigger the feeling inside that you so crave leading to "acting out".  What about those with a shopping addiction?  Should going to the mall be on your agenda?

Now these are not hard and in stone rules.  Of course not.  Each person must decide for themselves if being at a certain place is dangerous to the undoing of their sobriety.  However, sometimes we just don't know.  Or perhaps it is so early in the recovery process that we know these "places" are triggers.

So, I would think logic would say to STAY AWAY!  You have worked so hard to finally admit your problem and start the hard work of beating this addiction, why would you place yourself in harms way?

The reason it is considered a Y2 light, "Intentionally putting oneself at a Place of Risk" is so that you are accountable for putting yourself there.  Remember, Yellow Lights are not acting out lights..these are just the flags that say..Stop and Slow Down! Consider the Implications!  What could this lead to?

Because entering a yellow light requires adding an explanation of the situation it is helpful so that your accountability partner can see the situation.  It is also helpful to begin to see patterns.  When searching over a months time, see how many yellow lights you had.  Are they all on a certain day of the week?  Do they always occur when ...

Sometimes it really is obvious - at least most often for an outsider.  But not always.  And with data at your fingertips, you can't deny the actions of your life.

So PLEASE don't be afraid to report a yellow.  Be accountable to someone for it and perhaps come up with plans on how to change why the yellow even happened so it doesn't turn into a red light in the future.


Don't have recoveryBox yet?  Make the SMALL investment and begin to see your habits change.
To download, click here.  For more information, visit the recoveryBox app website (you can always download it from there if you decide).

Random Resource ThuRsday - So I shouldn't Go "There". Now What?

This week I wrote about how just being at a location is dangerous to the undoing of our sobriety. I found a wonderful resource that talks about this and a lot more.  In this document are tons on strategies to fight the addiction.  Take a look.

For more from this recovery website, visit http://www.markhoustonrecovery.com.

Below is the section from the resource that deals with Being at the Place (the Y2) and strategies.
I am glad the author put this trigger at the top of the list.  It's why I have the Person of Risk as the Y1 and the Place as the Y2 Yellow Lights.  Warning!!  Warning!!  Use Caution here!

Relapse Trigger #1: Putting Yourself In Difficult Situations Like Visiting Your Favorite Bar Or Hanging Out With Friends Who Are Still Using

Perhaps the most difficult part of recovery is leaving behind old friends or old habits that got us into trouble in the first place. Even if we are committed to staying away from your previous group of friends or hangouts, if we don’t change our habits and interests, we can quickly find yourself with a new group of friends or hangout spots that are just as damaging to our recovery process.
Relapse Prevention Action Plan:

• Find alternative places to hang out like a local bookstore or coffee shop.
  
• Choose companions who seek a healthy lifestyle.
  
• Go to a recovery based meeting. 
  

I really do encourage you to read the rest of the pdf file.  It is loaded with strategies to help in your addiction recovery.

To download recoveryBox,visit the Apple App Store.

The Serenity Prayer ~ the history behind it

I was curious about the history behind this beautiful prayer and did a little research. Read below or click this link for the article.

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The Serenity Prayer is the common name for an untitled prayer originally written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the late1930s to early 1940s. It is believed that Niebuhr wrote the prayer for a sermon.

Elisabeth Sifton's book entitled The Serenity Prayer, which was published in 2003,,quotes this version as the authentic original:

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

The earliest verifiable texts so far discovered are an approximate version, apparently quoted from memory, in a query in the in The New York Times Book Review dated July 12, 1942 which asks for the author of the quotation; a reply in the same column issued on August 2, 1942 states the quotation is attributed to Niebuhr and an unidentified printed text is quoted as follows:

"O God and Heavenly Father,

Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen."

The serenity prayer became widely known when it was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous; In 1950, the AA Grapevine, an AA magazine, identified Niebuhr as the author and the current AA web site continues to identify Niebuhr as the author.

The serenity prayer is reported to have been in use in Alcoholics Anonymous since the early 1940s. It has also been used in Narcotics Anonymous and other Twelve-step programs.. The Alcoholics Anonymous version of the serenity prayer omits some of Niebuhr's text:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and (the) wisdom to know the difference."

Niebuhr discusses the Serenity Prayer and how it came about it in his book, The Essential Reinhold Niebuhr: Selected Essays and Addresses. He states,

"... The embarrassment, particularly, was occasioned by the incessant correspondence about a prayer I had composed years before, which the old Federal Council of Churches had used and which later was printed on small cards to give to soldiers. Subsequently Alcoholics Anonymous adopted it as its official prayer. The prayer reads: 'God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to dintinguish the one from the other.' ..."

In addition, Niebuhr's daughter, Elisabeth Sifton, wrote an entire book about her father's serenity prayer, The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War, that explores the circumstances around which her father wrote this prayer, the wide range of versions of this prayer, and the real essence of the prayer's meaning.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/552531

Why Is It So Damn Hard to Change?

Random Resource ThuRsday

This week I blogged about knowing the what's and why's that lead to your acting out.. and that you have to have data to understand your habits. Knowing your triggers is key to breaking an addiction.   When we act on our triggers, we are just reinforcing our trigger/behavior/reaction mechanism. 

Oprah is not where I normally get information for sharing but I thought this was a great article that talks about dopamine ..  you know the chemical released in your body when you do an acting-out behavior.  I cropped out a small portion for you to read but I urge you to read the rest.

Why Is It So Damn Hard to Change?

By Rebecca Skloot

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/How-to-Change-Your-Bad-Habits/3#ixzz2MsAonyaW
Photo: Hugh Kretschmer

Dopamine teaches your brain what you want, then drives you to get it, regardless of what's good for you. It does this in two steps. First you experience something that gives you pleasure (say, McDonald's french fries), which causes a dopamine surge. Some of that dopamine travels to the area of your brain where memories are formed and creates a memory connecting those fries with getting a reward. At that point, in sciencespeak, the fries have become "salient." And when you're exposed to something that's salient, you may think, "That's bad for me, I shouldn't,"  but your brain registers, "Dopamine jackpot!" 

Which is where step two comes in: On top of creating memories, dopamine controls the areas of the brain responsible for desire, decision-making, and motivation. So once fries become salient, the next time you see or smell them, your brain releases a surge of dopamine that drives you to get more fries. When you succeed, your brain produces more dopamine, which reinforces the memory that made fries salient in the first place, etching it further into your brain. It's a never-ending cycle: The more you do something that's rewarding, the more dopamine makes sure you do it again. This is precisely how habits form. Eventually, if the fries become salient enough, your brain will release dopamine and push you to get fries anytime you see the colors yellow and red, even if you're nowhere near McDonald's.

And this is true for any behavior that results in a reward: Orgasms cause dopamine surges. So does hitting the jackpot when you gamble, winning a race, acing a test, doing cocaine or methamphetamines, smoking, drinking. "Dopamine is motivation," 

...

But my big question for Volkow is this: How do you get yourself hooked on something that's not inherently pleasurable to you—like living on salads and broccoli or, in my case, exercising? Many people get a natural high from working out. I, however, am not one of them. "Isn't there some way to trick the dopamine system?" I ask her. "Some way to fool my brain into craving exercise?"

Sure, she says: The secret is thinking up rewards. My payoff for working out could be a pedicure or a new pair of shoes. For someone trying to diet: Maybe you get a massage after a week of good eating, or have a friend dole out gift certificates if you stay on track (you pay, but she controls the vouchers). "Giving yourself rewards for a behavior engages the dopamine system so your brain will associate the positive outcome with it, which will help you form the habit."

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/How-to-Change-Your-Bad-Habits/2#ixzz2MsAgxKuM

Well, I wish I could reward all the recoveryBox users with something great to help retrain our brains..but hopefully when you earn your badges, that will give you a small sense of accomplishment.

For more information about recoveryBox, visit the website and see if it's an app that might be helpful in your recovery from your addiction. www.recoveryboxapp.com

Complete Customization for Yellow Lights

There have been many requests to be able to personalize an addiction to make it so that Red Lights are meaningful to the events in your life. And that was a huge success.

COMING SOON
And so we heard your requests and have now added customized Yellow lights.

Yellow lights can be added while customizing red lights for the addiction you create OR you can choose to not create custom yellow lights and use the People, Place, Things pre-defined lights that are available for every pre-defined addiction OR you can use both.

We at recoveryBox want to create the most flexible app so that you will want to use it to be accountable. Recovery is all about accountability and adhering to your plan.

We are planning for this release to be available before the holidays and are in testing stages now. As soon as it's available we will post asap.

Yes, we do listen to your requests and try to implement them. So if you have more ideas, please let us know.  And may your recovery journey be one filled with success.

~ Be supported!

To download recoveryBox, visit the Apple Store.

Do You have to Give Up Your Old Friends - Random Resource ThuRsday

Random Resource ThuRsday brings to your the question "Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends in order to recover?"

This comes from a Great Blog I found called Changing Lives Foundation.

Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends in order to recover?

April 24, 2012 in AA Related, Al-Anon Related. . ., Ask Joe, Relapse, Why Don't they Just Quit,Why Don't They Just Quit? Book Excerpts by jherzanek | 2 comments

ASK JOE:
Old friends and recovery:

Q: Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends
in order to recover?

A. It depends

When I was first getting off alcohol and drugs, many of my old friends
were just like me. I knew that being around drugs and being around
people using them was a bad idea. Exposing myself to the wrong influences
would have been a set-up for relapse. It wasn’t easy to let go of
some of my longstanding relationships. At the same time, though, I was
meeting new people who were also in recovery. I quickly learned that
my new lifestyle and old friends were kind of like oil and water—they
just didn’t mix.


After several weeks of sobriety, I started to see these old relationships
in a different light. I tried to talk to some of my old friends about recovery.
A few of them actually quit using. Others began to avoid me. I stayed
busy concentrating on not using. It was a little depressing, in a way. I
wanted so much to help them change, but many just weren’t interested.

This is a difficult time for the recovering person. There is a sort of
lag-time between leaving old unhealthy relationships and developing
new and better ones. It doesn’t happen overnight—but it will happen.

Trust the process and trust God to provide. For myself, I knew what was
at stake. I had to do this or soon return to the old life. The void in my
social life was going to be filled one way or another. This is one more reason
why support groups are important.

Recovery means making many changes,
and some are more difficult than others.

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recoveryBox Addiction Recovery App - Your Complete Accountability Sobriety Toolbox

recoveryBox Uses the Celebrate Recovery Steps or a Traditional 12 Steps - you decide!

Many of us need to utilize structured programs in order to maintain our sobriety. Following a traditional 12 Step program or a Celebrate Recovery program is a great way to do that.  Regardless of which you decide is right for you, it is possible to track your progress in recoveryBox.  You can add goals for each step and journal each step  as well.  Some of us choose to make it very personal and write out our thoughts while others prefer to think about it but not write it down.  Please write to us if you have any questions about how to use this part of the recoveryBox app or if you have suggestions.  We are always here to help!

To access these tools, Click More Tools -> 12 Step Program

Don't have recoveryBox yet, Get it today at the app store.

Download recoveryBox, Addiction Recovery App - Your Complete Sobriety Toolbox

Acting Out - Yes the Red Lights

UPDATE: please know that you can create your own red lights to really tailor recoveryBox to your needs.  Be supported!!

First, I must say I hope that you never have to record a Red Light because it does mean that you have broken your sobriety.  BUT, please don't be overly hard on yourself.  If you do indeed need to record one then do so and move on.  We all make mistakes but the difference is if we learn from them.

How Red Lights work in recoveryBox.

1. Each addiction will have a different Set of Red Lights.  They are specific to your addiction.  Until this point, all Green Lights and Yellow Lights have been the same for all addictions.  recoveryBox wants to make this specific for your addiction.
2. Record a reason why you acted out.
3. Consider entering any triggers that you can think of that might help understand why you acted out.  Even if you just can't make sense of it, enter the triggers anyway.
4. Send the text/email to your accountability partner.  Please don't skip this just because you have entered a red light.  This is the most critical time that you need to honest.  It might leave you feeling vulnerable but you are not alone.  This is where you are going to get the support you need through a sponsor or accountability partner.
5. recoveryBox WILL automatically adjust your sobriety date (if you are using that module) based on the red light that you enter.  You don't need to worry about entering it in 2 different places.  

Please don't feel ashamed and wallow in a relapse.  Know it happens, pick yourself up and learn from the mistake.  It's what you do with it that counts.

Below you will see different Red Light scenarios based on 3 different addiction types.  

Alcohol Addiction

Pornography Addiction

Eating Disorder Addiction

There are over 50 addictions to choose from in recoveryBox AND you can even choose multiple addictions at the same time if you need to.

Want to try out recoveryBox,

the iPhone app for addiction recovery, 

download it today.

Being Sober ~ It's Good to Be Acknowledged

Staying Sober IS an Accomplishment.  And as humans we desire to have our accomplishments be acknowledged. We want to know that we are on the right track and that our efforts are not in vain. As children we look up to our parents and teachers for praise. As adults we look to our bosses, peers, spouses, friends for that same praise.  Look, even Facebook has a "Like" button so I know I'm not off my rocker writing this.  

And it's not a bad thing.  It's why the AA program as well as Celebrate Recovery has a system for saying great job with their chips.  And so at recoveryBox, it was felt that we need to praise and support those who are using our app and perhaps not attending a traditional meeting of some sort.

We hope you understand how PROUD we are of each and every time you see that screen come up!!  Some will want to keep it private - say between you and your sponsor.  Others will want to share on a social media site like Facebook and Twitter.

Be proud of your hard work.  I know I am!

Yesterday's daily devotion was a video from IamSecond.com. It featured Brian's life and his decision to give up his Meth addiction.  It is so powerful as are so many of the videos on the site that I thought I would share it as well here on my the app's main blog.

Here is a small video but to see/read more PLEASE visit the IamSecond.com site.

For daily devotions from recoveryBox, visit http://recoveryboxdevos.blogspot.com

Y3 Yellow Light :: Intentionally Possess Object of Risk

Having an object that is contrary to staying sober seems to be an obvious yellow.  Some would argue a Red Light, But I say it's just  a Yellow.

Just because you possess the item doesn't mean that you are going to use the item! It's a choice! And because it's a choice, it's why I have it as a Yellow Light!!

Y3 : Intentionally Possess and Item of Risk.

But let's be clear here.  It's a recipe for disaster.  I mean why do you even have it?  You know that by using the item or looking at it then you will be having to start your sobriety from square one, feel ashamed besides other emotions and all that goes along with using again.

So, it's a no brainer.  Get rid of it!

• Get rid of the alcohol in your house!
• Get rid of that pornographic video in the attic!
• Drugs lingering around the house? Trash them now!

Clean out!

And yes we live in a fallen world and there are temptations everywhere, but (and I feel like a cliche when I write this), but Just Say No!

Don't make it possible so that when the urge is there and you need that rush to easily grab that magazine or drink and fulfill that need.  Fill that need with something else - go for a walk. For visit a friend. Do something other than grab that item.

Yes, I understand that "things" don't do bad things.  It's when people use those things.  But why have the temptation? Why allow a trigger cause you to run to the very vice you are trying to cut off.

I really don't have much to say on this topic except GET RID OF IT ALL!

I completely understand that this doesn't apply to all addictions.  I mean you can't get rid of food.  But you can get rid of junk food. And you can't get of the internet (OK I couldn't) but you can use something like opendns.com or Covenant Eyes.  There are always things you can do to help yourself.  It's about making a choice.

Have a great day!  Now go clean out!


PS. If you need help cleaning out but just can't seem to get started - perhaps it's time to talk with your counselor or accountability partner on what is making it so hard to let go.


Wanting to download recoveryBox and see how it can help you?  Visit the Apple App store.

Caution :: Yellow Light :: Y1 - Person of Risk

Today's post goes along with last Thursday about having to give up all our "friends" from before addiction recovery.  As the author wrote, the new life of recovery and the old friends turn out to be "like oil and water they just don't mix".

There is a way in recoveryBox to track that.  It's the Y1 Caution Light.  It's "Intentionally Put Self With Person of Risk".

There is something to note here..it's the word intentionally.  There are times in life when we bump into people from our life before addiction recovery and it's a coincidence (but ever notice that it's "awkward"?!?).

This is the situation where you purposely hung out with a person who was trouble.  Their ways are just not appropriate things that you would be doing to change your habits.  You know what I'm talking about.

You get the nervous feeling inside, your mind starts to ask questions of yourself about this person or the situation like 'should i be with her?' or 'what do i say is she asks to go party and get high.how do I get out of that?'.

Take this as a warning light!!  Oil and water don't mix!  Even if you did happen to be with such a person on purpose don't be afraid to record it in recoveryBox.  Your sponsor or accountability partner will want to know.  And because they have lived your life, they will not be upset.  This will give you the opportunity to see how your triggers and situations all came together so that you don't intentionally put yourself in that position again.  Recording it will allow the conversation to flow between you and your sponsor because it's all down in the app for both of you to see.

Be proud of yourself that you did not relapse.  Just like as with driving, it's just a warning that you could get yourself into trouble.  Just learn from it!

Download recoveryBox to get started on your road to Addiction Recovery.

Random Resource ThuRsday ~ A Holiday Survival Story

Ran across this holiday survival story and I thought many could probably relate. It's from Sober Living's Website and the link will bring you there (great website..check it out).  Or you can read it here.

No More Ruined Holidays by Chris S. 

by slbts — last modified Dec 16, 2009 09:50 AM

Filed Under: 

• clean and sober holidays

Those of us who have lived through addiction and recovered will enjoy this passage from our staff member who really remembers what it is like to be a slave to addiction during the holidays.

     How many times has it been heard, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Or, “You better be on your best behavior.” Only to let too much go on and you are arguing with someone in front of relatives, the kids and/or friends. Your argument is probably over something that isn't very important anyway. It's probably even an argument over something you don’t remember the next day (until someone reminds you about it). Maybe there's even a push and shove that goes too far and ends up in the tree or on the dining table. Maybe your struggle spills out on the front yard where the neighbors can see you. Maybe someone is so mad or embarrassed that they leave before the festivities had began. Some are crying in the background and others are taking up sides.
     It doesn’t have to be Christmas, Thanksgiving or New Years’ eve. I remember having a Tequila Easter playing monopoly. Don’t know who won or if we finished the game. But, the phone call the next day let me know I was not in the best behavior mode.
         Many people get busted for DUI’s during the holidays. It must make a person feel special when called to come bail someone out of jail on that special occasion.
        What about the false promises made that it won’t happen this year. The playing of the victim -  that it "wasn’t my fault." And the best move of all:  getting too wasted to even show up. Then the excuse of, “I am not hurting anyone but myself.”

Giving the Best Gift of All    

    One of the best presents I’ve seen people give others is getting help before the holidays. Giving the family, friends and loved ones the greatest joy of all. Being clean and sober for holidays present and future. Being able to keep a promise that you will be there. Maybe not this year, but next.

Many people get busted for DUI’s during the holidays. It must make a person feel special when called to come bail someone out of jail on that special occasion.

     Some of us are too selfish to think of others during certain days of the year. Thinking it might not happen if we are not present. It will still happen whether we are there or not.
     The greatest present I’ve been able to give others’ was the giving of myself. Clean and Sober.

www.recoveryBoxApp.com - the iPhone app for Addiction Recovery